I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
