guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize