In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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