she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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