well you can't waste a boner
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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