I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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