In the future we'll all be gay
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
