after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I AM VODKA MAN
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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