I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
