Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
