so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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