You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
