So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
