PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
