Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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