im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
