You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
