Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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