Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just puked most of my soul out..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize