Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
