you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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