but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize