Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
