we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
