My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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