I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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