I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
3pm strippers are depressing
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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