My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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