we're blogging at a bar
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
