Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
