My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
