So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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