We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
