I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
