my sisters under your porch take her home
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
