I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
