smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
