This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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