the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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