the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
