is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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