Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize