rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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