im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
