my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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