I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
