can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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