If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize