At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
