nut hugger
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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