We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
