You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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