I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
