Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
COCAINE IS GR8
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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