at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
