so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
