Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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