i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
