The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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