I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
