he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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