Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
