If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
