sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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