well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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