hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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