So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
