trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize