During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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