I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
