make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
