her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
