Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
