It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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