Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize