I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
