I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize