I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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