Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
