wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
